花样年华

Moved

2007-03-30T08:01:00.001+01:00

irreplaceable

2007-03-27T11:57:00.000+01:00

hahaha irreplaceable by beyonce suddenly started playing on itunes, and i remembered clubbing at MOS in london with amanda. she was flighty and dangerous last time, and that i love someone like that and am loved in return is all the more intoxicating for that.

lightning running through our veins

2007-03-26T17:56:00.000+01:00

Please forgive me
If I act a little strange
For I know not what I do.
Feels like lightning running through my veins
Everytime I look at you
Everytime I look at you

i think it was pretty early in our relationship when we kissed in the library and suddenly yelped out loud because of alot of static electricity between us. since then that has happened several times but whats more hot is the sparks that comes along sometimes without warning. =)

anyways on the way back from amanda's house this evening david gray started playing on the radio. i have been sick recently and took very heavy dosages of drowsy medicine, but still found it in me to tag along with her mom and auntie to town for some window shopping and dinner. we camped for half an hour outside miharu, supposedly one of singapore's top 50 restaurants but the ramen was really over hyped and i guess cuppage was much better (see sept 2006).

quality time in the evening together finally ended with supper at hongkong cafe. mmm the milk tea was really good, the french toast with peanut butter and honey was sinful, and i really liked the buttered poluo baos. i guess im kinda becoming an eastie. itll be great when i finally move to guillemard which is like what, a stone's throw away from amanda's place.

i and amanda have been talking about it.. i guess being in our own blissful world has meant that slowly but surely we're losing friends. sometimes we lose them sometimes we drift apart. we both should care but we don't really. which is scary, because although this dependence on each other should leave us worried about not having a backup, yet its undeniable everyday ends fabulously, every second stands on the brink of being amazing each and every time, every time we touch its charged with emotion and electricity. i guess its mushy that we look forward to each day when we get to see each other. singapore has been a catalyst in some ways. in the sense that yes we can connect with each other's families, that we can see how the future pans out together over here, and most importantly, charging our relationship with the realization of how much we need and want to be with each other everyday. okay mushy philip out.

btw it might seem that i only blog about amanda all day long. im not the only one guilty of this. moreover my blog has been that since october. ive either blogged about her, because of her, indirectly because of her, or intentionally not about her. well.

city space among the stars

2007-03-25T15:20:00.000+01:00

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

2007-03-24T17:45:00.000Z

ive been gaining weight ever since i and amanda went to paris.. and although my face is getting fuller and she thinks its unbearably cute, i dont feel that good anymore, less confident of turning up the zsa zsa zsu. anyways i slept loads today and have been trying to sleep more because there's still alot of fatigue in my bones and im still sick ever since ive landed, which is atrociously long ago.

anyways hmmm a week passed since ive touched down, and i havent done much work. like maybe half a term of macroeconomics? doing stuff like phuture on wed (i think both of us dont want to club for very very long), or checking out city space and new asia bar at swissotel.. hanging with her family, going out with her dad, gorging together on half a lana cake, picking my sister from school, going out for simple meals with my own family, and very very occasionally catching up with friends. well some ppl might think the priorities are skewed, but well spending everyday with her from marriage until 80 is not enough, ill like to start NOW and start like from the past before. =((

anyways we are getting unbearably sick of singapore. the weather is terrible, the food is not really inspiring, and i guess london just holds much more for us as a couple since we are used to life there together alone in each other's company. anyways i cant wait to go back. and i probably will mug my ass off there especially when she is going for her internship thing. anyways we both really gotta psyche up lah. the stress is beginning to hit me. ive been driving quite a bit.. kinda raw sometimes but sometimes it gets a bit slick. driving back at night from amanda's place is bad though, its normally 1 plus am and im dead tired from the day and often lose concentration. she's probably already terribly worried. okay lets see week ahead. my grandma adores me and im going over for braised fatty pork bun dinner tml =). i cant wait to chill with her at her house in front of the tv or something. i really really like that. there's tuesday lunch i think with her dad again, wednesday we want to go to morton's, and friday there's iggy's. after that its perilously close to going home already. wah i realised i typed home. when i meant london. somewhat confused here i guess.

there's a big hooha about civil servant salaries, and i disagree with both sides to some extent. firstly that civil servants should not raise their salaries, that pay should be less for the altruistic service you are performing for society. i think that effect is overstated and this is the 'football fans will play for free' effect. you pay less and you get trash - the overall harm is much worse. on the other hand i think examining pay structures for staff from 30 years old onwards is a bit too late. you benefit best by retaining ppl early, and if you only give proper pay to those who have stayed for a while you filter alot of good potential candidates who would leave the service because of impatience.

2007-03-20T22:26:00.000Z

now i know why i felt something was amiss. hmmm i guess im obsessed with you already. enough to suddenly jolt me from sleep with a belated 'something's wrong'.

So why'd you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place that you've known
And why'd ya sing Hallelujah
If it means nothing to ya
Why'd you sing with me at all?

i know this is the first emo post with our song lyrics, maybe this is the first emo post ever since the past 5 weeks, but i do hope things are different for you now. aiya i was also such an old hand last time. i read you like a book, telling me could have at least let me commiserate, and not be awake now belatedly brooding. i miss you. =( hai this irritation now can swing to being pissed so easily. there's a cruel barb of irony in fate that im beginning to fully appreciate.i now realise how the omission i used to practice in the past can be so deceptive it hurts. i love you entirely.

2007-03-20T07:49:00.000Z

dropped by psc in the morning and spent quite a while talking to hamchye about random stuff and admin stuff. the psc office now is so modern and uniform. i miss the old city hall which was really daunting and had that impact on you that made you felt you were walking somewhere trodden by illustrious people. now its just bleh blah. maybe its growing up.

anyways i cant get enough of amanda soon. i want to see her day and night. previously kissing was just kissing, until i met her. phew even the slightest can make both of us breathless now. crazilyyy gross. anyways i should try to do some work right now. tonight we are going out for a movie (typical date typical date yay!!) and maybe go for a spin after that, wednesday im going over to her place to have a peranakan homecooked dinner by her grandmother. i think her family is getting more and more adorable. her sister is spoilt in a nice way (at least im not irritated hahaha i hope she doesnt read this), her mom is obsessed with amanda (totally in common with me), her aunt thinks that the more she looks at me the more handsome i get, and her grandma told her this morning that she better marry me. well!!! haha look at my self satisfied grin. anyways dinner then drinks with germaine and i dunno who else and then we'll go clubbing!! it seems so long since mos last tuesday. mygawd. gross

2007-03-19T16:18:00.000Z

haha omg amanda soon amanda soon. i can say that name like a gentle sweet croon already. i really really am in love with her, so much so that it hurts. =p

on top of things

2007-03-19T15:45:00.000Z

today was a 11/10 day. as a couple we have many days that are very important to us, and these arent just anniversaries. for example the barcelona trip which was really just so fuzzy wuzzy it was almost like a honeymoon. kinda like milestones.. anyways i gave amanda a huge box of photos, for the past month so far. the kind of idea is that looking back at all those (524 for 4 weeks) after some time after on will just get us all emo and mushy again.

which is what we have been like in real life but ive been trying to tone it down on my blog somewhat. i mean alot of tom dick and harry read this blog what. must keep us some appearance. hahaha neither of us has any backup plan, as we semi jokingly discussed today. im really glad for that though, as in i think the odd thing is that neither of us is looking elsewhere and thinking what if or what else this time round. thats why its going to work. i think germaine has had a damascean experience - previously she thought it wasnt going to work at all, but i think we convinced her that we really have something going on right down here. and yeah the conversation is like verbal diarrhoea all the time we just keep talking and laughing. we watched abit of closer today and got emo discussions going.. that's why 11/10 huh amanda soon =)

im kinda irritated with singapore though, so im glad im leaving earlier (11th april). come back and mug my own ass off with amanda in our lil world. realised that although home is where the other person is, we are infinitely more comfortable in london together. i mean close to europe, and i thought today walking along town that falling so entirely deeply in love with someone is only possible in a favourable climate. singapore is fucked up. both our skins are beginning to decline with this horrid weather and the clinging humidity. paul smith at isetan is fucking horrible!!! GROSS GROSS GROSS. i cant be bothered to do anything much here. tml is a busy day what with claiming back money and going to the tailor and all that, but i and amanda are going to start mugging our asses off. pom! pom!

the march 9th post on the sartorialist about al bazhar is just very very enticing. i wish i could go milan to visit that shop and get a few shirts and trousers. i think amanda soon kinda wasted it cos you dont really wanna go to a place more than once but HAIYA. the shopkeeper can measure shirts just by sight? you know how difficult it is to get good shirts.. and for 105 euros only.. hmm

2007-03-19T01:36:00.000Z

I feel wonderful because I see
The love light in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love you.

i developed photos for amanda and clearly she's as besotted with them as i am. when i had nothing to do whileing the time until she came back on the plane, i just sat there and looked through the photos over and over again. chemistry is there, common interests, connecting on every level and of course she's damn beautiful. i dont take anyone seriously when they attempt to offer me any advice on how to conduct my affairs, because i know this relationship is the one of the lifetime and i dont believe these people have experienced what im experiencing. everyday with time i just find more about her to connect on and also to get pissed about, and we just smile away everything in the world in a blissful bubble. mushy meh =(

hmm read flor's blog and when she mentioned that jolyn had moved out and i had gone home, i guess that really hit home with some finality. gannnn pat pat pat.

2007-03-18T18:38:00.000Z

i just got back from seeing amanda and its 3 am and i should sleep soon! well aiya however angry also whenever we see each other we always sort it out. anyways i really really like her family, and im glad its not because of her sake but because i genuinely like them and can see myself getting along well with them. her grandma's getting me over on tues night and i dunno if that's really chop chop confirm but im really looking forward to it! lunch time i met my own grandma and we went ut for lunch as a family and i dunno, much needed family time i guess. i drove my grandma out for the first time today anyways.. time flies and really should spend time with family, especially the elder folks.

amanda came back today and everything is at peace in the world. i love her like fuck and every thing we do together is just fantastic lah. i love driving with her by my side and holding my hand, and just talking about everything and nothing in particular. tml she's coming over for breakfast lunch, chilling and we are going to get some serious studying done, so that should be happy =) im pretty contented now. hmm grawr =)

2007-03-17T22:02:00.000Z

ok so i just went the whole night without sleeping, brooding simply on my bed in extreme frustration. suddenly there's alot to resent and suddenly i am venting by punching the wall alot and suddenly im mother fucking pissed with the whole thing and all the other stresses and pressures in my life are getting to me too. just because i dont say anything doesnt mean they dont exist, dammit. anyways fuck it la.

shall i rant? i just realised my camera had been in my luggage all along, i thought i left it at home and so left the cables at amanda's place. fucking retarded. heard my blog's getting rather public but actually i only gave the address to precious few friends. since blogs are an excellent opportunity to get to judge ppl i would like to take this opportunity to say : you. can. fuck. off.

what else. okay however unhappy i am right now, if amanda was still in london and you gave me a ticket to go back on the next flight, i will fucking snatch it. singapore is damn retarded. anymore of the idiotic clothes and the retarded conversations and i will just flip.

2007-03-17T20:15:00.000Z

hmm sleepless at 4am... maybe its just jetlag but im rather troubled actually. im feeling really very mixed. im worrying myself sick perpetually and i dunno how much more to take. i mean, bending over too much must be bad right? you choose your own friends and i choose my own reactions. i know in the end i always will let you get your way and whatever you want but maybe i dont want that now. i hate it that im so angry about this. fucking neanderthals who can just take a hike. maybe i should just compartmentalise or pull back a bit. distance can be catalytic, time can be poisonous, words can be lethal.

2007-03-17T06:04:00.000Z

hhmmm ive been desperately busy since ive landed. havent even slept properly yet. basically im just running errands for the family. ive met weekeat already and germaine will be later.. but its pretty obvious whats the most important priority of my life. yesterday i spoke to amanda maybe 8 times on the phone, not to mention messaging. and yet the unendurable aching persists. this morning i woke up without seeing her and that was really so terrible. i havent even unpacked my luggage yet. she's coming back tml evening but until then i dont feel like a real person, i feel like im ekeing out an ephemeral kind of existence.

anyways the massive clearout of the wardrobe before i can unpack my luggage. ive been to see the new house, and there's alot of potential. i wanna get one of those designer chairs and put it in the corner of my room, and get a big nice comfy bed. i can imagine chilling with amanda when we come back in the summer. =) anyways ive pretty much decided to leave early. the past few days convinced me that there's nothing much to life without her since i can do everything with amanda and everything i do with is so so much better. ill probably leave early with her. i guess last time i used to say that singapore wasnt really home in a certain sense. its that growing up detaches you from your old home and you want to find somewhere you really finally belong. i know ive found it now.

2007-03-16T02:10:00.000Z

is it any surprise that once i came back i called amanda? i took special care to say hi, how are you all to my family before i demanded the phone to call her. im really sorry to them about that, but amanda is without doubt the utmost priority in my life. thats currently, in the future, and ever since i met her really. i was just thinking of her throughout the entire flight and that was the worst experience of my life, knowing that i am touching down and with yet 3 more days before she comes and nothing to look forward to. anyways then on the plane it was full of emo shit. i would watch rocky balboa and see him emo about his deceased wife and all the times they had and feel damn emo and teary eyed, or seeing couples like eva green in casino royale, or the girl in deja vu with the respective guys and think of amanda all over again. i really cant wait to see her i guess. this time its really wahh...

ok the whole day is damn busy.. =))

2007-03-15T09:39:00.001Z

AMANDA SOON I LOVE YOU LIKE FUCK BYE BYE

2007-03-14T03:42:00.001Z

i just finished packing my bag and am slightly concerned that im way overweight on the allowance. moreover there's still the goodies i have to pack when i get to amanda's room. anyways today's supposed to be the first month. i guess maybe there's the symbolic hang up thing about it, but thats simply cos im used to having have to be particular about these kind of things. sometimes things are really smotheringly affectionate.. like how just 1 hour apart can make us run to hug each other when we meet. those are memories that i treasure very greatly. i guess we are just right. the whole gamut from play emo guilt trip games on each other, the inability to get really pissed and unhappy with each other, all the good food, decadence and mushiness. and not to mention the studying.

anyways so yesterday i went clubbing with amanda. i finally decided to go because i was starting to freak out about amanda's clubbing history. anyways yeah it was really a blast and damn fucking fun.. hahaha didnt get into strawberry moons without her i/c, which was funny, and then walked to funkybuddha only to decide to go to MOS. hmm few rooms were open but nevertheless the company was great. singapore should be more fun =) sometimes i wanna type more details and stuff but i guess the blog's a bit too public. hahaha and moreover if i wanna tell the most important person in my life, well she's the one i experienced all these with. i guess we feel like soulmates already.

maybe when we look back at the past month, or the past two terms it'll be really amazement at the places we've went, the things we've tried, the words we've said and all the time we've spent. a bit mushy but i cant help but rub my eyes in wonder. hmmm. =))

2007-03-12T23:05:00.000Z

sunday my relatives took me to Maze restaurant, which was the second best gordon ramsay's after the one at royal hospital road. it does french cusine with asian influences, and it was really sensational in a way. i kept thinking about the ravioli with seafood reduction i had with amanda in barcelona though. i guess while the food here was consistently wonderful, i missed her company. anyways the foie gras on roasted quail was absolutely sensational. and pork belly with salmon? gorgeous fatty pork with the strong salmon taste played off each other wonderfully. i can eat well but i dont really know how to write well about food i guess. i had nine courses from the tasting menu, so that really cost a bomb =( haha good thing i didnt pay.. haha
Foie gras marinated in Pinot Noir caramel. smoked ham hock and picalilli
Orkney scallops roasted with spices, peppered golden raisin purée, cauliflower
Honey and soy roasted quail with Landes foie gras and spiced pear chutney
Daurade Royale with native lobster risotto, lemongrass, Thai basil and lobster glaze
Duart salmon, pork belly with choucroute and smoked raisin reduction

amanda bought me a miumiu shirt. i guess she was just getting a bit too guilty. hahahaha anyways the shirt is really a good fit. i already had a miu miu one in blue and white distressed poplin, so i knew what i was getting. this was a rather nice chocolate which i wore with my suit to maze.

speaking of which, my suit is really nice i guess. =) the trousers are really wonderfully cut, and the jacket fits rather nicely. commonwealth day was really irritating, cos i think high society hob-nobbing is rather meaningless. i hate making small talk also. anyways the queen was standing in front of me and smiling at me and i was too stunned to shake her hand. howww fucking spastic. stunned by the regal air i guess.

anyways today is going to be damn rushed. pick up weekeat's cds, another dress for janet? i havent packed my bag, there might be a few rounds of mahjong, still got gym, and im going for strawberry moons with amanda later. =)

2007-03-11T08:53:00.000Z

amanda booked arbutus, a one michelin starred restaurant in soho for lunch yesterday. it was really affordable british cooking and yupp some of the stuff was really really good. hmm standouts, i loved the roasted bone marrow with my veal, the chocolate soup was to die for, and the flavour of the lemon in the lemon tart is unbelievably intense. =) maze restaurant tonight with aunt and uncle! =)

English snails, Laguiole cheese 'farinette', new season garlic leaves
Pork 'Porchetta' with granny smith apple puree

Shin of Limousin veal, roast bone marrow, braised celery and carrots
Slow cooked breast of Elwy valley lamb, sweetbreads and sultanas

Warm valrhona chocolate soup, caramelised milk ice cream
Lemon tart - first of the Menton lemon season

2007-03-08T21:36:00.000Z

our complexion is so good!!! grin. anyways the term is drawing to an end, im going to be crazily busy balancing between work, school, meetings and my baby =). at the very least we are very very well fed, and perpetually hungry to boot. i think the plans to lose weight before we go back can be thrown out of the window. ten ten tei! the makounuchi lunch and also some sushi. salmon sushi is a steal at 1.60 for two pieces, and the ikura gunkan is orgasmic. not to mention humongous salmon head which is damn big and very very cheap. old sweet shops in soho and also a pleasant surprise. =) yeahhh i was reading her blog. i seem to put myself very very low in my priorities these days huh.. oh well i shld go and do some work =)

2007-03-07T20:49:00.000Z

today was a great day actually. anyways i went to pick up my suit finally from floral street after alterations. it is really really good looking. my relatives have booked gordon ramsay's maze restaurant for sunday dinner, while saturday lunch amanda booked the one michelin starred arbutus and we are going to try that out! really excited because they do good food at extremely good value, a 3 course meal is 13 pounds. on top of that monday is going to be an exhilrating rush through the houses of parliament and the westminster abbey ceremony and a reception at the secretary general's house where i can guzzle at the reception. of course im happiest most of all because i have a suit to wear. as far as first suits go this will not leave me ashamed. its suave and nicely cut. i couldnt afford a fully canvassed one but its really a good one =). ill dress it down for arbutus this weekend, and dress it slightly up for maze and then dress it up fully with the white shirt and tie for commonwealth day, so you'll be able to see pictures!

its the end of the week. and going to be end of the term. im flying back next thursday already. and today i met my tutor to discuss course choices. he was extremely unhelpful in my opinion, and the only comments he could give on courses was whether he knew the lecturers and if any of the female lecturers were 'hot'. that took the discussion in a slightly laviscious turn that i really didnt appreciate. at least he mentioned that doing a masters in say international or development economics when i did a third year course will be very redundant since there will be alot of repeat of the material. hmmm that was something i didnt know and could use knowing.

im glad i managed to type two paragraphs without referring to amanda. this is one girl whom my life currently revolves around and whom i cant think without. we do everything together almost all the time that it would be impossible if we havent quarrelled right. but we always fight because we want to give in to each other and want the best for each other. so its like clashing self sacrificialness. or if we are upset generally it just takes a while before we burst out laughing at each other. this is really everything i wanted and more i guess. =) hmmm i spend all the time thinking of her really. im glad we can and have been getting some studying done together though. today i had a jap test and did rather well for it i think!!! =))

2007-03-05T22:28:00.000Z

hmmm today was really one of the good days huh! i was walking back telling her that maybe this was one of the best three days. okay lets work backwards. AWESOME dinner at tententei, i happily slurped up the tonkatsu, chicken, salmon head, salmon skin, sushi etc. i was sooo soo hungry the whole day i was just looking forward to it. then there was crepes too at crepe affair which had really good service. and simple lunch at garrick/brunch bowl. and simply the whole day was just lovey dovey, we were laughing alot all the way and just having alot of good natured fun. wink. i not only had an okay day in class where the tutorial went well, i also went down to covent garden to get my suit, it should be ready and altered by wednesday! =)

very often i start blogging only to save entries as drafts or to delete the post simply because its too cheesy. one recurring theme in those drafts etc is how i feel really really blessed to have known this special girl. and its a wonderful feeling to be told in an out of the blue gushy manner that you are someone's favouritey favourite person. i had been telling myself to live for the moment previously and simply to be thankful and not take anything for granted. I think frankly its impossible not to feel blessed and grateful. anyways the weekend was more of the same, and we went to the library to do work! like finally. hahaha im going to wake her up from her nap now, and ive a japanese test to study for. dewa mata!

2007-03-02T11:52:00.000Z

so this is how it is like, to wake up in the morning to rawrs and warmy fuzzy smiles, to mean 'i love you' sincerely and truly, to think of the other person all the time knowing she is too, to feel insecure and distrustful mutually simply because we dont ever ever want to lose each other, to feel peaceful and sure of everything in equal measure. i guess we are really on to something here? this is the laugh after each quarrel relationship that i thought was only an ideal.

anyways i have been spending alot of money on food. like seriously, i havent bought any consumer thing in a while, i have just been concerned with feeding myself. im looking forward to going back, its scary how its only 1 and a half weeks left actually. previously i would have been counting down the days but i guess since amanda the days really sweep by scarily fast, and i dont really think of going back that much. looking forward to the family and the food, the sun and the friends =) the car of course. my gosh you have no idea how addictive mobility is, especially when laced with a sense of power from the car.

everytime i get on youtube (which is increasingly, in amanda's room) i always look for damien rice and eric clapton stuff, now to be honest i would kill to have watched eric clapton at the recording of the mtv unplugged album. sigh and i dont think i'll be able to catch the glastonbury festival, i felt pessimistic enough to not even register. anyways im looking forward to the upcoming arcade fire album. i should try to wean amanda off her RnB diet onto pretensious arty farty indie and related emo music. hahaha

hot fuzz

2007-03-01T08:24:00.000Z

hmm the blog title is laden with alot of double meaning. anyways for a moment there i thought my midas touch when it came to movies was fouling up, but instead this was a tastefully executed movie which nicely toe-ed the line from campy! i love how they shamelessly flaunted self parody without any restraint. and it was mother funny lah. and amanda soon is scared of men in black robes running around in broad daylight.

hmm i guess we had our first few disagreements yesterday. the day quickly vacillated between happiness and shouting love over the phone in covent garden and alot of emo brooding and weary unhappiness. the so called honeymoon period was ridiculously fucking high, descent to earth of course is rather different, but i think we'll work out the fine balance in our relationship between all our priorities. anyways waking up in the morning to cuddles certainly solves any problems =) it may be cheesy, but its just a reminder of what is important to you and what really matters, and how you want to go out to make things work.

strange and beautiful

2007-02-26T22:36:00.000Z

I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart,
I'll see.

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.

2007-02-22T20:43:00.000Z

"we might make love, in some sacred place
the look on your face is delicate"

"i just want you to know that i'm really fucking in love with you and it sucks like shit cos i cant seem to do anything anymore except to think about you 24/7 and its pissing me off because im losing control of my own life and i hate it like fuck but at the same time i love you so much and i cant imagine life without you."

amanda got the morgan stanley "whole week tea session" thing so she'll be coming back earlier during the easter holidays. on the basis of the way i feel just half a day away from her i dread the week and a half we'll be away from each other. its not just a can't live with each other kind of desperation at times, its also a permanent dull ache. im happy we're together, but separation of any sort brings back dull grey days and moods. it didnt help that it rained terribly today. im slowly getting fat due to constant meals and chocolates and what nots. i was looking at my face today in the gym and wah its getting a bit fuller. well at least amanda likes it.
ok i can juggle both studies and a serious relationship. i have never been so serious before. so im a bit worried. but nvm. =)) anyways i was in the gym and was watching ice figure skating and suddenly had the strong urge to go and try with amanda. okkkk im trying very hard to restrain the mush now.im beginning to understand the hooha about wanting to go everywhere and do everything with the person. its just simply that if you think about the person all the time, how could it be possible to do anything away from her? when i went to barcelona with nicola i was thinking of you all the time, every second and it will be so right to go with you properly. =)

bought a pair of light blue chinos shorts for summer weather, hopefully can post photos of me in it soon!

2007-02-21T11:34:00.000Z

Where you are, that’s where I wanna be

spacing out in the gym and in lectures thinking of you, and i always get occasional whiffs of your scent all over my clothes and body and it drives me absolutely crazy. so this is how it is to be perpetually light headed and this is how it is to be to miss someone so much you can just dig your head into the ground and while every painful beat of your heart away from her.

We might live like never before
When there's nothing to give
Well how can we ask for more
We might make love in some sacred place
The look on your face is delicate

whoo whooo tonight is going to be absolutely crazy. i only hope i can get some work done before the weekend which will be an absolute blast, crazy times in the sun, awesome food, blissful dreams and exciting heat =p

2007-02-20T14:24:00.000Z

completing each other's sentences;
doing the same things for each other at the same time;
bitching about the same people, the same things, having the same opinions about things;
being wink wink absolutely attracted to every single aspect of each other;
waking up in the morning giggling as she talks to her mother about me;
the romantic walks down champ elysees, the seine;
waiting at the stairs with a huge crowd behind me waiting to see the girl who was going to get the gigantic bouquet of pink roses;

aiyo i cant believe im getting so mushy and gross =) i find myself oscillating with her between marshmallowmushy sweetnothings and a peaceful affirmative love where you just feel contented with every breath you take in each other's company. the worst part is how both of us would be so daunted and not go into the commitment and -the one- kind of stuff, but now we are beginning to unflinchingly refer to each other as that. i guess she's everything i ever wanted. yeah this sounds a bit cheesy. well i love her and that is why i have been emo the past 5 months on this blog. =)

delicate

2007-02-19T04:55:00.000Z

Valentine's in Paris

2007-02-15T15:22:00.000Z

2007-02-11T20:39:00.000Z

the week ahead might be the craziest nicest week of my life so far.

2007-02-11T09:43:00.000Z

these violent delights have violent ends...

2007-02-10T02:28:00.000Z

this blog is about my clothes condition after all. this is a suit from thick as thieves, its an online mtm suit startup by some denim forum junkies. the key is on slightly slim fitting but not traditional cuts. i rather fancy the look of it though of course i know it wont really work well for me. rolling about in the snow and strolling in the rain has done alot for my jeans in the past few days, i can begin planning for the next pair to break in after easter. im thinking samurais but it really depends where i can get from. if im still stuck looking in london it'll prob be another pair of nudies or if im feeling extravagant prps.

anyways i dont usually want to blog about direct personal stuff anymore. but kudos to my sister. im proud of her, she has a lower L1R5 and obviously better at science subjects than i am. she truly deserves her grades after the work she put in. i guess there might be a lingering feeling that she could have had a perfect clean sweep, but nvm lah huh. i hope she develops more of her personality. i think she's more mature to some extent and maybe more intelligent than when i was her age, but there's still so much more to go for everybody regardless of age. anyways janet chua i will be back soon and you shld stop banging about AM.

eskimo friend

2007-02-09T02:02:00.001Z

Harder now with higher speed
Washing in on top of me

rarely does a day run through a whole gamut of weather conditions, and emotional drama. emotionally devastated, and i might just have ended the day worse than i started it. emo enough or not?

2007-02-08T10:03:00.001Z

emirates for brazil vs portugal. the stadium pitch is so so immaculate.

regent's park.

emo food chain

2007-02-07T23:34:00.000Z

sometimes im quite sad i guess. i mean of course you can totally sense the broody mood that hangs about this place huh. i mean how do i get to emo to ppl. i mean i listen to you emo about how he is behind you in the bus and they look unsmiling and whatever and then i listen to you about how she is with some fucking retard now. sometimes i really wanna tell you two i dont want to give a fuck about everything already.

but then i have nothing to say, right?

i mean im not usually cut out for this type of bullshit but really i find myself doing alot of bullshitty things these days. the emo food chain is that he makes you damn emo and you come and emo me and i get ultimately emo-ed. pulled in both directions with no recourse. and you know what, its both fuck it, and fuck me. i mean just shut up and stop whinging on your blog philip chua. if anything this is an expression of self disgust. absolutely disgusting. as if i could do anything more to cheapen myself. i could start a whole career singing damien rice and david gray emo songs if this continues. philip chua you are so, so, so cheap. i dont recognize you anymore and i dont want to know you. you have lost God, you have lost propriety, you have lost drive, you have gained sentimentality, romanticism and cheap idealism by the bucketloads. and you dont think you are any worse for wear. i despise you.

2007-02-07T15:32:00.000Z

Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now,
Or am I lost?

hai if i thought the line 'closer to what i want and further from what i dont want' was seared into my mind for emo-reasons well its just silly cos it has diff significance now. everyone was a play before you and after you everyone will be a play. i guess suck thumb and keep quiet is good for you, but i dread those days where i lost all spark of personality and became a shade of wallpaper gray. they are in no sense of the word distant; rather menacingly near.

2007-02-05T16:43:00.000Z

i was shocked to hear that weekeat is pushing 69-72 kg. and here i am stuck in no man's land between 65 and 66. im slowly gaining weight lah. i even ate half a chocolate brownie brick yesterday. eating. its just january was rather bad for me i think. wah lau. then my head very big i know but its not -that- big right. i mean got other ppl head also quite big loh. cough cough am-jio.
ok lets look at clothes now.

patrick ervell if i remember correctly. i always upload pics to iphoto and forget to label them and struggle to remember who they are from. i am beginning to become a fan of the deconstructed and baggy silhouettes american designers swear by. away from the greasy darted italian silhouettes. it is possible to look good without being uncomfortable or constrained. another consideration is if you have the figure you'll look good in everything, especially baggy tops and dresses and long skirts. something ive been telling ppl about. the red is gorgeous, ive a thing for blue too, the right blue is regal and invokes luxurious grandeur. head-turning stuff. im beginning to like trousers alot alot. getting old i guess. and NO it sounds like it but im not brooding alot la.

as a parting shot. they look great together. a bit androgynous but well the confidence is there. they look great and im sure they have loads of fun together, which is enough for them im sure. wedge boots on the guy leh. really stretching it i think.

2007-02-03T15:45:00.000Z

yah i get quite irritated when ppl dont compliment me on my look and instead choose to focus on individual pieces. like hello?? its not like im getting a pound each time you compliment the shirt or the shoes or something.

and im 66kg now. that is awful. dreadful dreadful dreadful. im wasting away and there's nothing i can do about it. grr

2007-02-02T08:41:00.000Z

heee hee

anyways its been so long since i posted a picture of me.. im cutting my hair this weekend though. hello parents. your fears of my drastic weight loss and declining health are grossly misfounded.

2007-02-01T21:10:00.000Z

so there it goes again. clothes :so much looks mediocre in my eyes, and then anything good i probably have seen before. i even find myself wishing i could be a brand whore so i can squeal when i see brands but no that isnt really how it is. becoming such a chore. there's more -what's-the-point emo coming from where this came from, but as i mentioned above this blog is about the clothes condition. suffice it to say that im damn sian because im sick of alot of things. conversation with shihui was nice yesterday and sunset was nice today. thats about it.

oh boy am i going to whine to yumiko when i see her on saturday. i think i secretly love walking alot.

classic vintage polo tees, cotton shorts slightly above knee length, creamy chocolate leather loafers, and all the belts you can imagine. bright blue, luminous yellow, or pasture green thin leather belts. mmm. broadwalk, sun and a watch that goes tinkling in the sun.

If there is anyone who is in the sun
Will you help me to understand
cause I been caught in between all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure what its for
Any more than me

sigghh

2007-01-30T18:17:00.000Z

im addicted to this song lah. hongkong hongkong...

secretly i want to indulge my desires to wear the following looks : trousers with braces in gooky colours. shorts with loafers. tucked polos with gorgeous bright coloured thin leather belts. im young with a good complexion and a reasonable physique. oh the wonders i can lend to dressing older. transmogrifying grand-daddy 1950s americana and the middle class country club look with bright bright colours daring cuts.

somehow i feel unfulfilled and rather dissatisfied with the way things are going now. i feel very strongly that things i want to do lie very much elsewhere.

2007-01-30T14:17:00.000Z

Paul Smith F/W 07

2007-01-29T21:32:00.000Z

the paul smith shirts are as usual, top drawer. i noticed very strongly a great tendency to show off the socks. paul smith socks are legendary, since shirts and shoes might divide ppl but almost everyone loves their socks. a bit extravagant as a student to splurge on socks though. socks call for emphatic tailoring of trousers and amazing shoes to play off. im not sure if the colour schemes will work on me for this season though!! i think the season for 07 is a bit underwhelming compared to previously.. not many new ideas appearing yet. well.. the chocolate velvet pants are lustrous but really only for fall eh. but i have to admit i like the blocky english silhouette for suits.

把我的悲傷留給自己
妳的美麗讓你帶走
從此以後我再沒有
快樂起來的理由

我想我可以忍住悲傷
假裝生命中沒有妳
從此以後我在這裡
日夜等待你的消息

能不能讓我陪著你走
既然你說留不住你
無論妳在天涯海角
是不是你偶爾會想起我
可不可以你也會想起我

2007-01-28T15:47:00.000Z

martin margiela. thank gawd thank gawd i managed to get the shirt. last piece since they brought in a limited run. thank gawd thank gawd. the best dark navy shirt of ALL time. post pictures later. yeah i havent been much of a photowhore lately.

ok martin margiela lets all fall down in worship.

margiela's women's range. i dont even want to think how expensive these are. his artisanal range is crazy..

bottega veneta. oooooh i love the cuts! i think they will fit perfectly.. look at the sleeves at the green short peacoat.

shirts

2007-01-27T14:41:00.000Z

im slowly getting better, and so im slowly upping my programme to hopefully get back to normality in the gym soon.

i want to gush about liberty. ok liberty is really where selfridges was before selfridges went relatively mainstream.. primarily because it isnt meant to appeal to the masses. service there is top drawer. i was casually shopping today without anything in mind, looking for something that will make my heart go pom pom. so anyways i picked up a miu miu shirt to try. its washed poplin with a fantastic collar and some subtle stripes. and then the very helpful staff started to bring me more shirts from other lines that were in my size (perfect) and also to my taste (amazing.). the only thing i can guess at is that she must have been watching what i was thumbing through previously, so she could recommend based on my tastes and all that. so i got signed up for a liberty loyalty card and im sure ill be back very soon to pick up the other miu miu and the margiela shirt. the other miu miu is a dark navy and very well constructed. the margiela shirt is the ONE though. pompity pom pom. wondrous sheen to the fabric, a very very subtle pocket that immediately lends the shirt another dimension (i hate pockets, so this was a revelation), and oh hear this.black obsidian mother of pearl square buttons. im in love please.

i can see why the staff are so motivated and good at what they do. i mean after all the liberty menswear buyer is really really on fire. anyways i was disappointed that the marc jacobs polo tee was too big on me. i mean i was too lazy to try on a size smaller, but its just as well since the whole piece screams marc jacobs from a mile off.. his style is really too distinctive huh! i guess he can do no wrong.

HAHA if you havent realised it by now, i'm damn HAPPY.

im secretly proud that my sister knows the word picayune. in one of her bimbotic blog posts she casually dropped the word picayune to describe some trivial matter. yes im sure 90% of ppl i know wont know that word, so rub your face in my unapologetic middle class snobbery.

trapped.

2007-01-26T21:43:00.000Z

i lent you lolita way back in 2003. thanks for bukowski.

don't undress my love
you might find a mannequin:
don't undress the mannequin
you might find
my love.

she's long ago
forgotten me.

she's trying on a new
hat
and looks more the
coquette
than ever.

she is a
child
and a mannequin
and death.

I can't hate
that.

she didn't do
anything
unusual.

I only wanted her
to.

2007-01-26T21:06:00.000Z

mentioned the other day about valentino's single button, well here's his take on single button double breasted suits. interesting to be honest, since his silhouette fits my physique more than the usual skinny types from what have you. but whatever. i didnt buy anything this week, save a baby blue calvinklein, so the savings goes into pent up desire for spring 2007 collections.

2007-01-26T16:38:00.000Z

dropped by liberty after school to get a refund for the holland esquire jacket. last night i decided i dont really want it anymore, so i went back to get the cash. relatively painless. liberty is after all a nice place. they have some nice stuff from marc jacobs there, a paul smith shirt i like, and also the vivienne westwood leather day bag, that screams -i know you want me but will you be able to pull me off- in a very taunting manner at me.

popped by avery row to see if there was anything nice at the paul smith sale shop, then selfridges then back to floral street. grrr apparently final reductions are still on until the end of this month. i was really hoping to see S/S 2007 in for paul smith already.

im looking forward to dinner!

louis vuitton

2007-01-25T12:59:00.000Z

marc jacobs collaborated on this LV portfolio with Paul Helber for spring 2007 and the result is a fantastic blending of savile sartorial with hawaiian patterns and colours. i think alot of the outfits are intensely wearable. marc jacob's hand in all this is unmistakable, even if its a step up from his favourite grunge, keeping in mind LV's profile. beautifully beautifully cut trousers. and alot of little telling details in the shoes. ive gotta check it out the next time im in bond street! which might be soon. i have to pop by comme des garcons, my cologne is running out. my my what tastes you have. your parents must be wondering how much you are scrimping on food to be able to afford these.

valentino has the most stylish interpretation of single buttons for fall 2007, ill post some pics in a day or two.. needless to say i have a headstart with the holland esquire black jacket, but its unwearable in these temperatures. im so tired and sick its unbelievable. took a nap in the afternoon and had to stay in the whole day. at least tml after school im heading down to paul smith fingers crossed they have S/S 07 in. =))

starr

2007-01-24T21:05:00.000Z

one thing that ive realised recently is that these shoes are really one of my most favourite pairs i have ever owned. i absolutely love the blue suede material. the fantastic blue leather sole. the great feel of felt and leather inside the shoe. whimsical thin blue laces. gorgeous little rose detailing inside the shoe. signature paul smith.~~ noww there's a burgundy and also a chocolate version of this also. pity that season is gone and over with already. =p

Paul Smith S/S 07

2007-01-23T21:13:00.000Z

oh shoot me. top left, shirt. i want it NOW. i have a fever and its negative celcius outside. gah.

paul smith paul smith!

2007-01-22T19:41:00.000Z

hmm i have that shirt, but in blue. its a 'lavender'ish tint of blue, if that helps. what isnt obviously clear is that the whole shirt is spotted with a flowery vine print. very lovely if i may say so, the obvious thing is to button the shirt the way they do, and the collar comes off very very nicely. i dont do that with checked trousers, but worth considering.. and fitted hip trousers can work, but i think a slim belt from the S/S 07 range will play this off very well. the funny thing is that -this- is after all S/S07, but i bought the blue shirt on the last day of sale this weekend. so does that mean i bought a sample or a limited piece? or is it a copy from last season but updated with fresh colours?

anyways the dress sense is very obviously going down that route.. casual is firmly divided into polo tees jeans or casual shirts with trousers / jeans. im glad to see the end of t-shirts. cough. turning 21, you know. gimme all the lyle and scott, paul smith and ted baker i can take!

the suit.. worry later lah. im sick (been sick quite a few times in year 2) and it isnt a nice feeling. winter has finally come down on us and we are finally in single digit temperatures. sigh. everyone wants to go home in the easter. i hope sometime in my career i can either work for paul smith or the economist. i absolutely look the ethos of paul smith and etro, and it would be great to be involved even if its in the financial side of things.

2007-01-21T18:51:00.000Z

wooo

2007-01-20T20:23:00.000Z

my gawd i was out the whole day.. my feet are aching from my j.lindeberg shoes.. suffering purely for aesthetic reasons. haha

pay cheque came in yesterday so i spent the rest of my clothing budget for this term today! polo tees from lyle and scott (oh perfect fit) a gorgeous holland esquire single button black wool jacket from liberty with fantastic sleeves. ill post pics of the sleeve soon, its a french cuff with a silver button, and last but not least a paul smith blue shirt. in a nutshell, classic cuttings with eccentric detailings and flamboyant character. btw not everyone can pull off paul smith. tony leung was absolutely horrendous in it. i spent alot of time at paul smith today, i really did. dig their shoes for the new season at selfridges, they are really really fantastic. i fancy i can edge a pair for this term if i stay at home more.

i also got two books : the right nation and a history of the middle east. been wanting to read those for quite a while, and to top it off, two laurie and fry dvds..

oh the jacket is such a fantastic fit. and the sleeves are just the right length for me to show some cuffs. whoopee doo =)

met up with shihui and michloh for dinner, and that was really nice. =)

and liverpool smacked chelsea. crazy shouting at the pub, the whole pub was against chelsea.. must suck to be the special one..

omgg im damn stupid

2007-01-19T08:31:00.000Z

"half of everybody is below average in intelligence".

i accepted this statement at face value, and then proceeded to agree with the article about how education is simply going in the wrong direction, not everyone is smart enough to benefit from uni (case in point : look around at the uni you are in). but omg i was talking to kalyn and she corrected me!! cos its obviously not 100% true. wow talk about great starts to the morning. hahaha im sure ill find out why i thought it was true soon.

the sun is out and clear today!!! im in a very good mood!! sun means ill break in my other paul smith shoes today, and prob wear a blazer with my chocolate tweed pants. yay.

hahaha and everybody pls watch rowan atkinson one post below. its fantastic.. =))

rowan atkinson smut sketch

2007-01-19T00:10:00.001Z

top drawer. reminds me of my time on exchange at harrow school.

2007-01-18T20:40:00.000Z

what a loss to spend so much time with someone just to find out that she's a total stranger. i didnt even recognise you anymore.

j.lindeberg

2007-01-17T22:30:00.000Z

while casually browsing runway shows i realised that fuck!!! j.lindeberg has done something i have been wanting to do for qte a while! the past month and a half ive been looking for a pair of braces to let me do this :

now as they say style is all about your frame of mind. ill still look out for braces but im not enthu anymore because now i know the look i have in mind works and ill feel like im copying it. grrr. and the scarf is a nice throwback to cary grant by the way.

to think i was going to bitch about how all his stuff are ugly (which is still mostly true) and how his designs were tragically symptomatic of his diesel background (diesel is really yukkk!)

2007-01-17T01:26:00.000Z

sleepless, and perhaps slightly more emo than i care to admit. too many ppl read this blog though, so i dont think ill write much here.

im losing alot of weight around my face though. my solitary strand of grey hair has just been joined by two more friends. =( well heh.

suddenly i just want to get out of london, asap, permanently.

alot of things look different now i guess. really the only thing left for me here is clothes. haha as funny as it sounds. and its not like i have money to spend after the way i spent in michaelmas. so its the inevitable drowning in work. i get to talk to weekeat almost everyday but that's a poor substitute for all the time i want to spend with him. and dont get me started on germaine. she's so busy i only really hear from her once a month, and i miss her alot. words cant really do justice to how much i really really want her right now just to talk to her, or maybe just to sit around together. the two most important people in my life.

ok so im off to lose myself in work and let the ipod play softly at night. the indian finance minister is coming to lecture, i wanna look see look see. ill give myself a treat and a belated trip to commes des garcon soon. itll be cool to watch brazil play portugal too. i havent even met shihui yet.

im looking forward to hot weather

2007-01-16T22:36:00.000Z

quest for the perfect polo tee

2007-01-16T17:41:00.000Z

close, but i wont be drawn yet!

if i cant talk to you properly on msn, sorry! the reception in my room is very bad these days, realistically the only time i get good reception is when im the only one in the house. i love it when its quiet and dark in the house though.

im thinking about masters too. the point is to balance what i want to do against what i should do - where i do it has implications too. sometimes i wish i dont need to worry about all that, and that i didnt have a scholarship weighing on me. there's loads i love to be doing, but cant be.

these few days ive been rather distracted. im looking forward to a cold shower soon.

ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
you fritter and waste the hours in an off hand way
kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
waiting for someone or something to show you the way

tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
and then one day you find ten years have got behind you
no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
hanging on in quiet desperation is the english way
the time is gone, the song is over, thought id something more to say

oh fuck..

larkin

2007-01-15T16:25:00.000Z

This is the first thing
I have understood:
Time is the echo of an axe
Within a wood.

brazil vs portugal

2007-01-13T11:37:00.000Z

i managed to get tickets to brazil vs portugal at the emirates stadium next month! surely to rank among seeing liverpool at anfield and watching arsenal at one of the last matches at highbury - this one promises seeing ronaldinho, kaka, cristiano ronaldo and deco on the pitch.

I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.

脱下长日的假面奔向梦幻的疆界
南瓜马车的午夜换上童话的玻璃鞋

让我享受这感觉我是孤傲的蔷薇
让我品尝这滋味纷乱世界的不了解

chuh! irritated. 衰人

price beating guarantees

2007-01-12T16:13:00.000Z

Rethinking Why Crazy Eddie Wouldn’t Be Undersold, and Other Mysteries

The link is to an article by Hal Varian, who is a very good microeconomics textbook writer, in my opinion. The fascinating thing is that there are loads to be gleaned from a technical approach to economics (modelling, econometrics, proofs). E.g. previously abstract (mathematical) economic models are really extendable to all variants of economic behaviour and phenomena, just by modifying coefficients, terms, or imposing conditions. More importantly, econometrics is absolutely essential for a convincing argument. Some excerpts from the article :

Economists have written dozens of papers on low-price guarantees in the last 20 years, exploring many variations on the basic model. It has been extended to situations involving more than two sellers, sequential and simultaneous choice of prices, and differentiated rather than identical products.

There are models that incorporate “hassle costs” for buyers, which refer to such costs as the drive across town and documenting that the lower price is actually being charged. Strategic analysis has also unveiled some subtle differences between price-matching versus price-beating guarantees and whether the guarantee applies to any price charged or only to advertised prices.

These analyses are all very ingenious but you have to wonder if such considerations are really what drives those price-matching offers.

In an attempt to answer this question, three economists, Maria Arbatskaya, Morten Hviid and Greg Shaffer, have recently published a paper in the International Journal of Industrial Organization called, “On the Use of Low-Price Guarantees to Discourage Price Cutting,” that looks closely at some empirical evidence.

....

Evidence can disprove a theory, but it cannot prove it. The most we can ask is that the evidence is not inconsistent with the theory. So what observations would be inconsistent with the theory that low-price guarantees are motivated by the desire to discourage price cutting?

If guarantees are being used to discourage price cutting, then two sellers with the same price will each want to offer a low-price guarantee.

Similarly, a high-price seller may want to offer a low-price guarantee but there is no reason for a low-price seller to do so. Hence instances where the low-price seller offers a low-price guarantee are inconsistent with the theory, while instances where sellers with the same or higher prices offer such guarantees are consistent.

When the economists look at those cases where sellers offer to match any price, advertised or not, they find that the low-price seller makes such an offer only 14 percent of the time. In other words, 86 percent of the data is consistent with the model. That’s good news for the theory.

But when they look at cases where a seller offers to match only advertised prices, they find that the low-price seller is making the offer in 75 percent of their sample. Hence only 25 percent of these cases are consistent with the theory.

Furthermore, instances of price-beating guarantees tend to be inconsistent with theory; it is relatively common for such offers to be made by the low-price seller.

So the evidence is mixed. The data is consistent with the simple theory for cases where sellers offer to match any price, but something else seems to be the motivation for price-beating guarantees and guarantees that apply only to advertised prices. Those pages of tire ads in your local paper still contain some economic mysteries.

in love with a place...

2007-01-11T17:34:00.000Z

不懂

2007-01-09T21:58:00.000Z

shocking defeat really. there's just not enough money. we have the best fans and an excellent manager but there's just not enough money. so many of the players are so so poor. champions league quality players - gerrard, alonso, maybe kuyt. that's it.

compounding my headache - premature stress about masters and applications, huge stacks of papers and books lying around as i try to revise michaelmas and make up for alot of wasted time. i tried reading during breaks but my head cant take in utilitarianism. opening sartre, and my mind wanders after 3 words. exasperated, i plowed through chomsky, but that's cheating, the style is more popular than intellectual. am i becoming stupid? ive lost quite a bit of speed from previous years. i also cant decide which is worse - that our planet is dying (22 degrees in ny in january??), or that im turning 21 this year. both of which are catastrophic events.

雨都停了天都亮了
我们还不懂
这爱情路究竟带我们到什么地方
是要持续仍旧珍惜
还是回到原地
如今此刻的我
的确是有一点疲倦

what i would fly back to barcelona for

2007-01-09T14:02:00.000Z

yes, you are looking at half a bottle of melted nutella.

another way of looking at EC210

2007-01-08T11:46:00.000Z

As long ago as 1999, the BBC found that 99% of the £24.7bn notes in circulation in 1999 carried traces of cocaine, while a survey in 2003 found that 'Almost all euro bank notes have traces of cocaine', with a report last week announcing that 'Traces of cocaine can be found on 94% of euro banknotes circulating in Spain.'

ostensibly you can estimate velocity of circulation of money through this.

picture speaks a thousand words

2007-01-07T19:45:00.000Z

finished reading several books recently. Epstein's essay on free markets, cartels and welfare - restatement of libertarian and classical liberal beliefs. i find little disagreement with my personal beliefs. after the victorians, a look at the victorian age up till churchill's demise, terribly terribly anglocentric and anglophilic but what do you expect? I like the way roosevelt is almost demonised. few ppl lose sight of the fact that just because he existed in the same era as Stalin and Hitler does not automatically make him an infallible beacon for liberty. The God Delusion, which is an enjoyable book by Dawkins, albeit on a relatively unimportant topic in life. Also Robert Fisk's memoirs about the Middle East. I'm tickled by the idealism commonly displayed by journalists about their impact on the world and the moral superiority of their trade.

year 3 will be such a dilemma. I'm seriously having fun with my courses now, especially microeconomics, which is almost a joy to do. they are all crucial of course, and i can see why it is necessary to take the most challenging courses possible. because year 3 and graduate school will build upon that. having said that, with an eye on graduate school, i still have more courses in year 3 that i want to take than i have options. im not sure about saying that i will sit in on lectures (and classes!) of courses i wont be able to take, but thats entirely possible at this point in time.

sweet fit

2007-01-06T10:52:00.000Z

with a black star patterned shirt from energie

general comments. natalie portman is very very talented - i just watched her debut in luc besson's leon and she's absolutely amazing. before sunrise and before sunset stand up to multiple viewings. reminder to pick up said's orientalism from my bookshelf when i go home, i gotta read it properly again. i think suspenders will be really coming into its own in future seasons. tony leung cannot wear paul smith for nuts. the original italian job is really a pleasure to watch, and im wanting to see more of michael caine now. george clooney wears kiton?? opening on saville row. non-millionaires need not apply. the decemberists for their infectious line : "And if you don't love me let me go". tom cruise nailing down lestat. CSM does fashion and film evening courses, silly to go? ive a pad of options for year 4. time to seek advice. should i wait for you, then?

hennes

2007-01-04T16:03:00.000Z

managed to get a corduroy peacoat for 10 pounds from Hennes, ostensibly from the 90s (?) before they morphed into H&M now with loads of cheap stuff. the thing here is that not only is the fit perfect at the shoulders, the sleeve length has been altered so that i show a quarter inch of my shirt cuffs. its almost as though I myself had it altered those years ago. which is eerily fantastic. photos when i wear it with my ted baker french cuff shirt out to meet up with someone sometime.

edit : i just spent some time stitching up some wear inside the pockets, and securing the buttons. before this i didnt know how to sew, but somehow it clicked intuitively. i guess i should really learn, then i can keep back buttons and do stitching for my denim when its broken in huh? there's great joy to be had from this mere 10 pounds. i have a fantastic fitting, throwback to past years coat with fantastically big lapels and a leftwards button up instead of rightwards. it screams unique at me. and i love it. =)

youth is wasted on the young

2007-01-03T18:04:00.000Z

Shoe porn from john lobbs, vass.

Comme des garcons wallets. I'm totally converted, especially by their loud blue.

my room as it looks now

yippee

2006-12-27T21:19:00.000Z

shoe porn commences :

blue suede brogues. check out the nice detailing inside, its not so clear but its a rose motif inside. the sole is wonderfully crafted from blue dyed leather too.

lace ups for work. i love the gorgeous attention to detail and whimsical motifs that is so paul smith, and its understated and not obvious when worn. again the snazzy laces and i love the sole!!

the j.lindebergs that i bought before christmas.. =)

chinaman in kew gardens

2006-12-26T20:19:00.000Z

the classic chinese tourist pose:

2006-12-23T16:19:00.000Z

I would describe my style as preppy, though after viewing a few Cary Grant films, I have realized the preppy style is really my way of repressing an urge to clothe myself in pure bespoke goodness every day. Not exactly practical or proper for the college atmosphere, I realize, but then again we all have dreams.

work attire

2006-12-17T23:14:00.000Z

and what im lusting after for nights out.

some post

2006-12-15T23:38:00.000Z

short post, im back in london for a short breather. thank gawd. edinburgh was hell. anyways a small selection of scenery and photowhoring from barcelona, then from edinburgh.
barcelona

edinburgh

2006-12-12T22:50:00.000Z

harvey nichols edinburgh here i come!!!!

fashion buyer

2006-12-07T18:57:00.000Z

met guano for lunch today and yeah it was great =) i thought id love talking to her and yupp that was spot on.

on to the main topic. oh what a dream lifestyle. i still rmb when she first told me such a job existed. so this morning i was scrounging through current news and fashion news, and was watching some interview with the fashion buyer of harvey nichols' menswear. then he casually thumbed a McQ white jacket and mentioned that oh alexander mcqueen has come out with some accessible items for those who really know what they are wearing. note, this is a white looks like leather jacket with alot alot of detailing viviene westwood style. in other words, impossible to wear. then the camera zoomed in on the price tag, 5394 pounds. GG richard.

other than that, suspenders looks to be something i wanna try soon just for the fun of it! i think i can make it work. as always.

this morning i stupidly dropped a 10kg plate meant for pullups on my foot, the narrow end first. OUCH!!! i sat for a while messaging and saw my feet become a very very disastrous looking blue black. so i continued with weights and came back in the afternoon to run. its ok but i think tml it will hurt like fuck. hope barcelona turns out well. so this morning when i dropped my weight incidentally earlier i was looking at red wing shoes, they do construction grade boots with very classic designs and one of the testimonial was going on about how he dropped an industrial weight on his foot and instead of losing it the shoe saved him and he only broke some bones in his feet. deeply ironic man.

anyways this morning i sat for a while staring into space when suddenly a random brainwave came through. i swear this is what happens. i rummaged through my wardrobe and found a long sleeve piece from zara last time. it says no idol free mind in the front, and eternal believer behind. with some copper studs in the front lah. see Zara absolutely bores since they just churn out cookie cutter designs threadless style with nary any variations. i took it, pulled out the tags at the interior side by hand so that it left a slight gaping hole, then cut off the sleeves with a pair of scissors very roughly. what i was left with was fantastic. very grungey and punk, and goes with the "i cant be bothered to believe in anything" kind of style. fantastic for the gym suddenly, and oh you know it will work in a warmer climate with maybe some metal accessories and either scruffed up chuck ts or very worn black leather boots. woot!!! and i didnt realise that i had so many veins running up and down my body. my arm is absolutely chuck full of them, my calves too and there are fascinating veins running through my thigh muscles. thats weird cos im not ripped yet, but thats a nice touch. =)

today i saw yumiko about getting donghwan's hairstyle! she was very very amused. the pic only had his front, so she was wondering about the back, so we flipped through some japanese hair catalogues trying to guess how the back would be like. in the end she asked her korean colleague who immediately went donghwan very excitedly. the korean is a GUY. wtf.. anyways hahaha the haircut turned out lovely, its all really about the gum lah. january i think it will come into its own. so im looking forward to how ill look when term starts! love talking to yumiko.. we are both crazy about the 70s, music fashion and style. her era is 80s though, and that was disastrous and forgetable. we had a good laugh about it. she got some black dress back then that had winged fabric to the elbows so you spread out like some flying lizard. that was damn funny! her mother threw it away for her own good. haha but well its when you are growing up that you can try all this kind of things.

i love ppl who adventure and try new styles.. none of the girls here are like that at all. damn boring dress wise. some are catastrophic. nobody knows how to do boots properly. its one thing buying cheap stuff and looking cheap i guess, its another to buy expensive stuff and come off totally boring. waste of money. except maybe huishan! who does try different things ok i shouldnt name names huh =) anyways yumiko is absolutely in love with my pirate tie, and was telling me about vintage shops where she found some suede valentino ties for a fiver. wow 0_o. actually i should go and scrounge around in thrift shops for accessories sometime. aww she's so funny, she was telling me how she was youtubing and her computer was so lousy after a few minutes a black screen will pop out and she would have to move her mouse to remove the black screen. HAHA.

ok as you can see im consumed by fashion. thank you very very much. oh the degree's in economics. thanks for asking.

and whats up with herringbone anyways?? im totally not a fan. monk strap shoes seem to be OMGGG goodness. hahahaha i cant wait for my sister to come with magazines. pages and pages of porn; shoe porn, shirt porn, and the quintessentially japanese fascination with bag porn. supposedly UK is very famous for shoes, but i havent seen anything yet. ohhhhh feb is taking a long time to come. where is my 5000 pounds..

p.s. im really excited about trying suspenders. you know i know ill make it work. and it will. bwahahaha
p.p.s i love the smell of hair products and hairdryer on your hair after a wonderfully cathartic hair session at the salon.

2006-12-07T10:55:00.000Z

anyways yeah the bottom two are the jeans after a week. can obviously see that 6 months on itll be quite something. but actually im not that keen on the way the nudies are fading, maybe its just the selvage's different dye? not sure. anyways i think next time ill just get one washes or pre distressed ones. lazyy..

janet eat your heart out! i hope you are looking forward to korean food when you come.

beauty in simplicity.. i absolutely love working out.

anyways i have been looking at spring 2007 trends, a bit early huh!! next year shld be really really fun. and yeah suspenders seemed to feature quite heavily, which reminded me that i have to go shopping for work trousers already. still dont have black shoes, but ill solve that in march with my next 'paycheque'. yupp time to start on the work wardrobe too. =( i need to go harvey nichols soon!!! with money!

voted on uefa.com for my 2006 team.. boliao but

2006-12-06T22:14:00.000Z

puyol's captain. i think the defence pawns. manager's lippi la. you cant really see him on the right. ok that felt like 17 years old again! =)

the week's drawing to an end! THANK GOODNESS. cant wait to move on and get on with it. barcelona's weather has a variance of 15 degrees, im sufficiently flummoxed to not know what to pack at all! to think i had all my outfits planned out. caught up with hui and gan today at Ran, and it was fab for lunch, so my sister can expect to be taken there! yupp im getting more and more excited about my family's impending arrival. secretly i cant wait to move house too in easter. ive been waiting many years for that..

1253am

2006-12-06T00:53:00.000Z

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God's love be with you
Always
May God's love be with you

this is the first time im feeling like this. i feel tainted and laden, burdened and encumbered. i feel impure and human. and flawed and imperfect. its just that everything seems so fleeting. and disappointing in some respects. maybe its being able to drop everything at a whim and pick up anything at a fancy. you wonder who the true you is and what you really really want. am i really going to do this, or do that? i hate feeling that when it comes to it, i dont really care about pretty much anyone else at all. not sure.

maybe i'll like just to volunteer to do humanitarian things in warzones. just slurp it up and get on with it. i want to feel like death is constantly on me and that i can just live on for the next day. right now, i feel so insignificant its literally the unbearable lightness of being.

its a culmination of thoughts when i said 'what a year what a year' i guess. i mean life isnt always just about girls. the past year... really come and go. they all dont seem to make a difference. i say things i dont mean and well retraction is not something that happens. you just start on a new page with old ppl over and over again. open old chapters for new ppl you meet and repeat. life's a constant rehearsal for the future.but its the future, geddit, there's never a rewinding retraction for you. i feel surrounded by worldly things and superficiality and shallowness and i am disgusted with ppl and everything.

hai even with you it wasnt happiness also. who am i kidding. it has been so long but im not remembering only the good times. we both were looking elsewhere. its just that i never tell ppl that you were, too.

i guess you can stay with someone just for the sake of it. you can stick with something just because it is. and you can think of lifelong commitment just because you can make things happen that way. you think you can handle it and its a nvm kind of thing. im not so sure im that strong. i wonder what medication they were on, those ppl writing love stories and emo MTVs. they are seeing things i havent seen.

Band of Brothers

2006-12-05T21:42:00.000Z

Lord grant that I shall never seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love with all my heart.

ok ok took a day off yesterday because i was really getting burned out from exercise; today i tapered off a bit but well im fine now and i can hit the ground running tml. im actually very psyched up about running myself into the ground since im going to waste quite a long time without exercise thanks to trips with the family and barcelona.. microII's done, not quite entirely correct but shld be respectable this time.. thats the end of work for the year. rest easy bloke.

and my gawd. what a year. what a year.

anyways my sister demanded i cut this hairstyle. my hair's not long enough yet but ill be getting yumiko to cut it so ill grow into it. hmmm we'll see how it goes huh. hahaha.

honey and the moon

2006-12-04T08:28:00.000Z

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet in love's game
You would call; I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message on your answering machine

We're made out of blood and rust looking for someone to trust without a fight
I think that you came too soon
You're the honey and the moon that lights up my night

micro2 isnt that bad after all. i guess this term i was really lost because i was not in 'it' for most of the term. i wonder exactly when did this song become your song in the past few years.. i should watch oc one day to see why im supposed to be seth..

anyways. i have been so happy being unhappy with you. term draws to a break and its time to get out of here! jolyn took out her bags from the storeroom to pack liao.

fengyi on powerlifting : you pass out before you die... whoa gd stuff.

some things money cant buy

2006-12-03T21:17:00.000Z

basically some things money just cant buy. weekeat, money cant buy the amount of times you get to hear me sing hui dao guo qu in a dark room, nor can it buy the times i trot back just to talk to you online, nor can it buy the pages after pages of meticulously worked out solutions to every EC202 problem because i know you will take it suicidally, nor can it buy the photos and the memories. haha shit damn long time and damn a lot of memories. haha wah soft touch post, using your lingo.

im damn happy because im almost up to date on micro2!!! and im very excited about reviewing all my work and having nice neat piles of worked solutions and transcribed copies of the textbook and notes for all my subjects! im that obsessive about studies when i get down to it. and janet is 16 today! 21 is looming around the corner.. i dunno whether to laugh or cry when my sister keeps banging about how im looking old.. or how i was stupid to break up with so and so.. we rarely talked much growing up, but somehow she knows me fucking well huh.

hmmm the sartorialist apparently bought a pair of apcs and is having problem with sizings since the jeans leg did not expand though the waist line stretched! omggg someone pls throw him a lifeline. when i saw apcs up in real life i was sooo grossed out by them..

some lists of wishes and necessities :
1) peacoat. this is almost mandatory. parents help! im getting cold!
2) oliver sweeney black shoes with wooden lasts (this is necessary by june)
3) some basic 4 button polos from american apparel
4) nudies once my regular ralfs get a bit too un-raw for my liking
5) shirts and ties from band of outsiders

500th post

2006-12-02T22:00:00.000Z

the first time i knew pandora had it really really spot on was when i clicked forward and they presented me with breathing, by lifehouse.

I'm finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don't really know what
I'm going to do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of Grace

I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I'm looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and
I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel loved
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be

2006-12-02T16:26:00.000Z

bwaaaaa i just changed money for barcelona. 200 pounds spending money for 3 nights. is that too much or too little? i certainly cant afford more =(. whats for sure is that im really really looking forward to the gorgeous architecture, making a fool of myself when i try to rehash my forgotten spanish, bar hopping at night with tapas and sangria, and the wonderful temperatures! about 15ish 18. i bought an overnight bag already from fred perry, not overly expensive but still gorgeously shaped and in a nice brown leather. so okay barcelona here i come! which is the whole point of this entry anyways, im feeling really really bad about money and sigh. anyways this is craziness instead of studying im really stressing out about what to pack. im needing an outfit for bar hopping, but also have to plan for the temperature and casual outfits for travelling! =(

i wanted to go to church tml but i forgot to check their service time. ill have to check it online. shld i go for the ocf christmas carol thing? today i did a minimalistic black polo with a black pirate motif skinny tie! its something that looks nice and can be done in conservative singapore. read a bit of weekeat's blog. personally speaking however much i give the impression of being able to drop things, i dun really i guess. so you arent alone keat, just give it time.wah dick. emo already.

我不像你是双栖动物
我只能活在有你的幸福
我所能适应的温度
都是以两人世界为主

michaelmas starts here..

2006-12-01T22:50:00.000Z

today it was raining and i was happily strolling in the light rain to lecture before i realised. ohmygawd im wearing my dry selvage nudies and i cant let them get wet. 100m dash. ahhh well they are breaking in, but qte slowly im afraid. im beginning to like the dry look though, with minimal fades. anyways after surfing online a bit i thought that i shld give fit alot more priority and seek expression through accessories. not very sure yet, i'll give it a try. i guess im still learning.

talking about learning im definitely still learning basic study habits. right from p4 when i entered gep the focus was already on proper organisation and reviewing your lessons each time you got home. this year with relatively tougher courses i have been lucky to have exemplary tutors (except for PoF cough) and that had helped across the term. now that im buckling down its much better. im settling in and doing well and i can see it happening =). my humans teachers always sought to broaden our minds and be truly intellectual, the As were assumed to be insignificant for us. there's just so much more in life to pay attention to. culture. that's totally true, i cant stress the amount ive learnt outside the mundane and the huge amount more i've to learn. every day is a reminder of how little i know in every respect, but also a reminder of how much more inept other ppl are too. well count your blessings, but dont count them because you will run out of blessings to count.

i was talking to germaine about the usual topic, finding your true passion. very forrestgumpish, but yeah i agree that while we each have a destiny we still float at the same time.

so this term done i think im finally closer to what i want and further from what i dont want.

memememememe

2006-11-30T14:18:00.000Z

barcelona photowhoring beckons!

haha re-edited my post for today. wellwell i actually finished a micro2 tutorial! omggg thank gawddd the work is beginning to show, i think im going to copy gan and go through my material intensively before i break for the hols. i havent been putting in much work for poe for example though the tutorials are manageable.

also i havent been putting in as much work into jap as i would like. the thing is that we have learnt to read the characters except of course kanji, so if i can finish the text on my own time maybe i can skip level2 and go straight to level3 next year. japanese is an excuse to start watching bleach and naruto. hmm. then hopefully while on my master's i will try to do it in depth. setting up the resume huh. in my free time i keep surfing japanese style sites and clothing and its like wow. japanese ppl are damn psyched up. they are THE fashionistas man. i mean, buying a jacket and dying it yourself in green tea and colouring??? hardcore..

so my sister told me to check out this guy called donghwan or something and copy his hairstyle. well its kinda nice so i will show yumiko pictures and see what she says. hmm my sis thought i could carry off most looks except gothic. i value her opinion alot (her judgement of the girls im involved with are spot on) and i love her alot! saw some of her prom photos and she's really getting pretty. wah wait she go jc then how. when she comes to london i think it will be crazy. i certainly have the sense that we must spend time together while we are still young. next year is -that- year for me.. and well 18 is on the horizon for her too. time flies. what a useless thing to say

anyways as much as i whine about my course i still love economics alot. its just the dearth of outside options. and im not a single-minded person in all aspects, and it helps to meddle with as much as i can get away with.

so the whole world is at mambo jumbo and im stuck at home because i dont club anyways, and i cant afford to take the night off. well i can certainly take the time off for this blog. pandora is fantastic though, i only learnt about it on zhihong's blog though. well considering i intro-ed her to koc...

mememememememe

2006-11-29T22:32:00.000Z

ok so thank god for having the sense of mind to hedge my bets elsewhere, and an uncanny ability to pretend. sometimes its just autopilot saying and doing the right things haha but oh well. i guess that's just the way i am all over again.

its nearing the END of the 9th week! if i wasnt saving money for an overnight bag i would have taken the last week off to somewhere. im going so crazy about the hols. barca is going to be crazy with all the tapas. im going to look for gooky quirky pieces in clothing stores. janet is coming with fashion magazines from japan for me from kino! whoaa and yeah im thinking of getting her a pair of true religions while she's here. its not premium quality, but its a brand semi savvy ppl think the world of, and a good pair to last part of her youth. haha. this is partly practicing for tokyo spring trip, partly i want to work in japan, partly i want to exaggerate her influence on my life so i can grovel in some regret.

yayaya i know im a bit tired of the skinny tie already. prob will chuck it to one side soon though. ANYWAYS im still racking my brain on how to wear things differently. =( i have very mundane stuff. japanese was =) hahaha im really really psyched up about japan i guess. and my classmates are fun. anyways let me talk a bit. haha i tried the skinny tie with polo tee kinda thing, and did just a pullover first. but haha i slicked my hair totally leftwards. its normally right. the kind of things you will notice only if you see me everyday. and stuck my belt out to break continuity. hmmm well. this was me this morning, and me later in the afternoon btw. haha.

florrine's performance was really good, as much as this would inflate her ego she was the one that made me go wow. subtle facial expression change on mine when she started playing. weekeat i havent heard you play yet. and yah i didnt know gan had a history with nafa. haha. and the amt she can muster just for 10 mins of her performance. they all love you gan! michelle looks abnormally happy..

memememememe

2006-11-28T20:22:00.000Z

the past few days... hmmm im still trying my things in my wardrobe to see how things can go together and how i can twist things as much as possible.

btw this is amazing customisation:

I WANT SKINNY TIES

2006-11-28T12:24:00.000Z

dang i cut my hand opening a container of soup. so well after gym im staying home today to mug my ass off. weekeat where are you i havent talked to you online since forever! wah lao you are going zhong se qing you on me is it.

anyways article from guardian criticising defence spending in Britain. headline : only paranoia can justify the world's second biggest military budget". of course there are general implications of the argument, but let tired dogs lie im tired of banging about the Singaporean military or the American military.

In the ministry's defence vision paper, I found this gobsmacking contradiction. "We face new challenges and unpredictable new conditions. Our strategy must evolve to reflect these new realities. For the future this means [among other positions] .. holding fast, in the face of change, to our underpinning military traditions." Was there ever a clearer sign that the tail is wagging the dog?

anyways my nudie jeans is into the 3rd day and there's some wear going on. i decided not to destarch it because i wanted wrinkles and the honeycombs at the back. hahaha amused cos i browsed through guardian crossword and the first clue was 'fabric stiffener' and i immediately said STARCH. haha. anyways parents if i come back in easter can we move house then? it will be so exciting! im sure i can work better with a swimming pool and a gym in the estate than if i had to run around. =D ok tata barcelona beckons. stylish capital too!

i just spent an hour's break looking at tokyo street style. omg omg omg.

I wish I could follow you

2006-11-27T20:52:00.000Z

whoo hoo. what a fantastic day. first of all i spent half an hour queuing only to be told that no, they take all cards except my particular debit card, and no he wont check if there are the tickets available if you dont have the money to pay right now. im a victim of racist abuse. ok, so draw money and suck thumb. UK is fucked up but this is what i have to endure for the next year and a half. spent another forty minutes queuing and purchased my tickets. can we double check the details before you print the tickets? oh no i dunno how to read it from my comp. thats pretty stupid YOU IDIOT, so shrug lets get on with it. later in the afternoon i realised that 4 of the tickets are for the wrong day, i cant believe how stupid things are getting. so i have to plod back to fucking kings cross just to queue for another hour to replace the tickets. given the value of my time i cant believe how much i wasted today just because of them.

then micro2 sends a happy email. the hand in assignment for the term (SECOND ONE AGAIN???) is up on the internet, have fun doing it and pass it up next monday! cheebye. a quick check reveals that this is on stuff 4 chapters on what im plodding around in the textbook right now. yessirreee that translates to about 40 hours of studying ahead of me. there's no question on what i have to do for the rest of the week. things like ec221, ac212 (why do i give a fuck when IB is not only something i wont enjoy but its at least 8 years away) and ec210. oh lemme bitch about that for a while. go to tutorial without having done the tutorial; skipped most of the lectures since its useless; in the end i end up answering most the questions as the class responds with dearthly silence to my teacher, and he looks in my direction helplessly. he later asks ok so who else takes micro2 here? grim sarcastic smile on his face. answer : none. wrong school, wrong ppl, wrong country, wrong time.

to top it off im spending time fussing over my phone and worrying what the hell happened to ppl. shouldnt be a big priority, its a major waste of time. i fritter on clothes to take my mind off things, but its not working. im running out of money before i run out of painful things requiring stemming. better to stress over how your raw jeans are breaking in than worry about how ppl are doing yah. life would be better if alot of ifs. if i didnt stupidly open my mouth last march, and compounded it by stupidly opening my mouth AGAIN this march (lets see what happens next march). that simply gets me because everyone that came after was either wrong or fucked up. if i didnt stupidly decide i just wanna go uk and lse and totally didnt looked anywhere else, if i didnt stupidly promise her that i will take care of her best girl friend etc etc ad nauseum. you get the idea. kundera. life is a one off and a rehearsal for a show that never happens. you cant take anything back. unbearable lightness of being. as we speak that treasured book is somewhere in singapore along with all my books and all my dvds and my bolster which is very impt to me and all the food that im not going to eat until like forever. i could die tml. alot of things i want to do sia.

i could really use a school day tml like this : micro 2 in the morning where i am ACTUALLY up to date on things, doing something i rather enjoy like film studies, cultural studies, heck LITERATURE, even fashion would be something though i think i will do badly. who cares? failure and its stigma has ruined my life. i dropped passion for two feet on the ground. after school ends i could use SPORTS facilities, other sportsmen who actually are sportsmen. doing everything is lonely here. who gives a damn about a focused course and making sure your degree is relevant to your future working life? youth comes only but once. and its frittering away.. can write off this term already and alot of years. im not even doing a degree that plays to any of my strengths. wtf??? these 3 years are really diluting my abilities. im becoming a jack of all trades.

wrong place wrong ppl wrong wrong wrong. wow this country really really pisses me off. im definitely going back in easter. i cant wait to siam. this is still wk9. WTF... oh yah btw fuck off. im pretty sure looking back a few years later i will kill myself just being pissed with this stupidity and naivette. all those things i do for you and all that thought.

beautiful girl in milan

2006-11-26T20:17:00.000Z

from the sartorialist. WOW! the expensive balenciaga looking brown bag (that isnt probably cheap), a similar penchant for tights with shorts or skirt, confident poise.

i went shopping today. cough. got my first pair of nudies - regular ralphs dry selvage. ooooh the cut is lovely. i cant wait to see how they turn out =)

wicked.. 8 months and 1 wash

2006-11-25T23:20:00.000Z

window online shopping is my newest addiction

2006-11-25T13:35:00.000Z

wanna see the amount of websites in my history? this is what i do in my free time. priorities priorities. secretly im dying to go now to saville row to check out the evisu branch there. omg omg i didnt know there was evisu here. i saw in taipei and went crazy but i had no money. all my previous topshop jeans (remnants from what seems to be an era ago in the evolution of philip's dress sense) are getting -_-, and im really in the market for denim already. wasting my time reading styleforums and going gaga over pictures. i gotta learn more about caring for denim though. this time cannot play play. we are not talking about 35 pound blaggers which you can treat like shit, and which are already shrunk and washed already animre. im going to the supermarket now. buy bread eat bread so later can chiong nudie, apc and evisu. pat pat philip chua.

im procrasinating this evening

2006-11-22T22:25:00.000Z

the weekend is coming up! im looking forward to getting wasted on sunday, there's some 1 for 1 hard liquor promotion. whoopee. for that few hours at least you can forget about whatever is bothering you.

wa we last time really dunno how to drink one. when the canoeists come in easter i hope there's still the 1 for 1. bwahaha wa lau look at the picture. one to 4 ratio leh. wtf?!

memememememe. mememe to school; is there any way to make my hipbone smaller.

hahaha random photo chivas regal style from florence. sigh one year already leh.

no cryptic messages

2006-11-20T21:40:00.000Z

used google earth to configure and measure my running route, thanks for the heads up. its 3.2km one way from my place, and i measured a 5km lap at regent's park for easy variations of how long i want to run. concluded that running to hyde park and doing laps there is CRAZY. unless i wanna do a marathon some day. i should start eating properly and healthily. running is painfully addictive, with emphasis on both words. at least it takes my mind off the other type of pain. i really dont like that part of me and you.

1649

2006-11-20T16:56:00.000Z

omg im running on spare energy. i just bragged on msn that ive ran, did an overnight mahjong, and still rushed classes and gym, but getting up from my chair in sch to print my confirmation email for the producers, i realised that my legs were getting sore and outta energy. I was still planning to go back and check google earth and bbc weather to plan my next run tml morning. die lah. im going to rescue myself by carbo loading soon.

i get a mild kick from joining facebook groups about fitness, as i do love the gym because every second i spend in there there's always an ego boost. whether its compared to others, or just looking at myself in the mirror. OMG philip chua vain vain vain but you know what, it has been noticeable in this week. the running is finally making changes. and im so pathetic i actually got more tanned running in the sun yesterday. leaves are finally mostly falling, and i hope there'll still be more sun for me.

THEN i dont really talk about daxson much, but i really should huh! i know he reads my blog but we dont really see each other as much as would be expected. i mean canoeing same sch psc and all. yesterday i really liked bitching about micro2, reminiscing, all the jokes and basically letting loose all the foul words. haha when the canoers come it'll be rawks man. ill drop my work for however long they will be here for.