hmm sleepless at 4am... maybe its just jetlag but im rather troubled actually. im feeling really very mixed. im worrying myself sick perpetually and i dunno how much more to take. i mean, bending over too much must be bad right? you choose your own friends and i choose my own reactions. i know in the end i always will let you get your way and whatever you want but maybe i dont want that now. i hate it that im so angry about this. fucking neanderthals who can just take a hike. maybe i should just compartmentalise or pull back a bit. distance can be catalytic, time can be poisonous, words can be lethal.