hhmmm ive been desperately busy since ive landed. havent even slept properly yet. basically im just running errands for the family. ive met weekeat already and germaine will be later.. but its pretty obvious whats the most important priority of my life. yesterday i spoke to amanda maybe 8 times on the phone, not to mention messaging. and yet the unendurable aching persists. this morning i woke up without seeing her and that was really so terrible. i havent even unpacked my luggage yet. she's coming back tml evening but until then i dont feel like a real person, i feel like im ekeing out an ephemeral kind of existence.

anyways the massive clearout of the wardrobe before i can unpack my luggage. ive been to see the new house, and there's alot of potential. i wanna get one of those designer chairs and put it in the corner of my room, and get a big nice comfy bed. i can imagine chilling with amanda when we come back in the summer. =) anyways ive pretty much decided to leave early. the past few days convinced me that there's nothing much to life without her since i can do everything with amanda and everything i do with is so so much better. ill probably leave early with her. i guess last time i used to say that singapore wasnt really home in a certain sense. its that growing up detaches you from your old home and you want to find somewhere you really finally belong. i know ive found it now.